On Friday, February 19, 2010, Tiger Woods broke his three month silence at a press conference and he apologized for cheating on his wife Elin Nordegren. The following are excerpts from Tiger’s press conference:
“Everyone of you has reason to be critical of me."
"I am deeply sorry for the irresponsible and selfish behavior I have engaged in."
"I have let you down. I have let down my fans."
"I was unfaithful. I had affairs. I cheated."
"I was wrong. I was foolish."
He also stated fame got the best of him. Fame is not to blame--for most of us. We may have had someone in our lives cheat and then lie about it by men who are not famous. Let’s be real ladies is an apology enough to forgive a cheating partner? Is it simply cheaters need to satisfy their sex drive? Do we no longer think Freud was an insane oversexed weirdo?
Infidelity is a pattern of behavior that seeks self-gratification with the same or opposite sex at the expense of commitment to another. It strikes at the core of defining the meaningful characteristics of marriage such as: commitment, trust, honesty, and faithfulness.
According to Playboy Magazine:
• 2 out of 3 women and 3 out of 4 men admit they have sexual thoughts about co-workers;
• 75% of men and 65% of women admit to having sex with someone they work with.
Are women really more forgiving and understanding of the sex drive? Can they really overcome the pain and embarrassment of infidelity? Can the marriage survive to become a strong partnership once again? Is a healthy marriage possible after infidelity? The answer to these questions is a startling yes. It however, will take time, patience, understanding, and communication.
Kobe Bryant, Tiger Woods, David Letterman, Rudy Giuliani, Eliot Spitzer, Bill Clinton, David Patterson, Mark Chmura's, Jesse Jackson, Frank Gifford, Calvin Broadus (Snopp Dogg) John O. Norquist, LL cool J, David Vitter, Gary Condit, John Edwards, Magic Johnson, Kevin Hunter (husband of personality Wendy Williams), are just a few of a long and illustrious roster of admitted adulterers, and they all have one thing in common: women who stand or stood by their transgressing husbands. Have the wives of these men lost thier self-respect, dignity and sense of self? Not hardly.
Women say they are more forgiving because they see the “big picture”. For example, religious reasons whereby women view marriage as a sacred union sanctified by God, children, time invested in marriage, deep love, and in some cases the security of their husband’s income, and simply because they aren't willing to turn their man over to a "home wrecker". Whatever the reasons, it appears infidelity is not always a speedy step toward divorce for women.
On the other hand, women who cheat with married men state they do so because: (1) the man promises to leave his wife, (2) the woman felt they weren’t hurting anyone, (3) “the sex is good”, (4) there is a heightened sense self-confidence, power, and control over the situation, and (5) married men present more stability and money – oh yes the old “Sugar Daddy” cliché. Money is one reality both married and cheating women desire. Sorry cheating women, the money is short lived and very few men leave their wives for the "jump off". We forgot, women who cheat with married men are not seeking lasting love, commitment, and family.
So, ladies take inventory of yourself and your relationship before infidelity destroys your self-confidence, self-esteem, and self-worth.
The data suggest that over 85% of women who notice signs of infidelity are correct. Infidelity is steadily increasing. Below is a list of signs to beware:
1. Change in demeanor or character
2. Lack of interest in sex
3. Feel distant from your partner
4. Their mind is frequently drifting or somewhere else
5. Late night or frequent computer use
6. Partner seems secretive or you feel something isn’t right
7. Late nights at work
8. Frequent business trips
9. Unusual spending
10. Turns of cell phone or hide phone when home
This list is not exhaustive and you should really trust your “gut” instinct!